Most people struggle a bit with feelings of unworthiness, or dissatisfaction with themselves. That’s why I’m going to review 3 of the limiting beliefs that hold people back from finding a happier sense of self.
As a stress physiologist and professional speaker I have spent years working with some of the most accomplished CEOs and leaders across the world, and despite all of their accomplishments, most of these high achievers still felt unhappy with themselves in one area or another. Here are the 3 most common beliefs I’ve found that hold people back from their happiest selves.
1) I’m in control
It’s a nice thought. Trust me, as a recovering perfectionist and control freak myself, the idea of being in control of everything in my life is pretty appealing. But no matter how much risk mitigation, and proper planning you do, life is bound to throw some unexpected curveballs. Hello Covid 19. Random events happen all the time disrupting even the best laid plans. The more we can recognize this and begin to flow with change rather than fight it, the less we’ll blame ourselves for things truly outside of our control and the more adaptable we can become. Letting go can be tough, but the alternative will only cast seeds of self doubt, and dissatisfaction with situations we simply have no way to influence.
2) Other people are doing better than you
Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy” and no truer words have been spoken. It’s human nature to look at all the curated Insta stories, and Tik Tok streams of never-ending perfect families, businesses, and bodies. But the upward comparison we are prone to only leads us to feelings of inadequacy. Humans all have the same capacity to experience joy, love, laughter, suffering and pain but too often we strive for some external measure of success and approval rather than recognizing how rewarding and positive we can feel simply by looking internally toward our own growth and self-approval. At the end of the day, your own self-worth, and the belief that you ARE doing well independent of anyone else, is a huge factor in affecting your happiness.
3) The idea that there is a way to do things. Good and right versus bad and wrong.
A “bad” experience in which you suffer, when looked at through a different lens, is a stepping stone that builds resilience, wisdom and adaptation. People too often try to avoid pain, suffering, and failure, when from my perspective, the only thing to truly avoid is not playing all in – that’s what leads to regret and unhappiness. Stress, failure and suffering is only BAD when we assign a negative story to it. If we see these same things through the lens of pushing ourselves to grow, explore, and rise to new challenges, suddenly our happiness can shine through even the biggest challenges in our life.