The Science of service: why helping others is the ultimate stress antidote

The Breakdown

I recently wrote a piece for the Wall Street Journal about a stressful experience and the surprising antidote I discovered – helping others.

This discovery aligns with research from organizational psychologist Adam Grant, whose work in “Give and Take” reveals why helping others transforms our entire relationship with stress and pressure.

The Neuroscience Behind Service

When we help others, remarkable changes occur in our brains. Prosocial behavior releases dopamine and creates a “helper’s high,” but the benefits run deeper. Helping triggers oxytocin release, which transforms our stress response from “fight or flight” to “tend and befriend.”

This neurochemical shift converts stress from a depleting experience into an energizing one. Instead of burning us out, stress becomes fuel for meaningful action.

Grant’s Three Types Under Pressure

Adam Grant’s research identifies three reciprocity styles and how they handle stress:

• Takers focus on getting more than they give. Under stress, they become self-protective and isolated, amplifying their stress response.
• Matchers balance giving and receiving but create transactional stress about keeping score.
• Givers contribute without expecting immediate returns. When facing challenges, they ask “How can I help?” rather than “How will this affect me?”

Here’s the key that aligns with my own research:

Givers don’t experience less stress—they experience stress differently.

They feel energized by challenges because those challenges become opportunities to serve.

This is the paradox of service-oriented stress management: helping others fills our tanks in ways self-focused activities cannot. We access reserves of energy and resilience unavailable when focused solely on our own well-being.

The Stress Springload Solution

Traditional stress management tries to reduce stressors one by one. Service-oriented stress management redirects that stress energy toward helping others navigate their challenges, transforming stress from a depleting force into a connecting force.

When you help a colleague with their deadline, you’re not adding to your stress—you’re giving your stress purpose. People can shift from being takers to givers—and the key lies in understanding that this transformation isn’t about eliminating stress, but about redirecting it. That transformation happens when we channel our stress energy toward serving others rather than protecting ourselves.

Practical Implementation

Immediate Actions:

1. Identify Service Opportunities: When stressed, ask “Who else might be struggling, and how could I help?”
2. Leverage Your Strengths: Help others using your unique capabilities
3. Create Systems: Build processes that help multiple people facing similar challenges
4. Build Giver Networks: Connect with other service-oriented people for mutual support

Your Next Move

The next time you feel overwhelmed, try this experiment: identify one way you could help someone facing a similar challenge. Notice how this shift affects your energy, perspective, and capacity to handle pressure.

The shift from taker to giver isn’t about becoming selfless—it’s about becoming strategic in creating value for others while building sustainable success for yourself. Start small, be strategic, and remember: this transformation benefits not just others, but ultimately creates the strongest foundation for your own long-term success and fulfillment.